Here...

...Yahan (2005)

This is a very dark film. Literally, the visuals are hauntingly blue tinged and dark with jerky camera work. Its almost as if you're watching the entire film through an eye-spy camera. But thats where the beauty of the film lies. This is Shoojit Sorcar's directoral debut. I wonder why he hasn't come out with more work (maybe because this one bombed out!)

The movie is about terrorism in Kashmir, blah blah blah... But the movie definately has a soul. It is intense and powerful at times, and tender and intimate at instances (like the song ada) Jimmy Shergill, Minisha Lamba, Manoj Tiwari and Yashpal Sharma have given powerpacked and realistic performances. Infact, every actor in the film is very real. I couldn't find a tinge of artificial.

I don't know why such brilliant movies go unnoticed in this film industry while utter pieces of crap like Singh is King get so much recognition. This film is a work of art and addresses a very important issue for our country. Forget an avid movie goer, this film didn't work because of the eunuchs amongst us who feel proud by calling themselves Indian. I spit on thee!

Rate - 4/5

Same people, different lives

Billu Barber (2009)

Irrfan and Shahrukh starrer, directed by Priyadarshan, music by Pritam and special appearances by Deepika, Priyanka and Kareena - a film which turned out to be a mixed bag. Partly because of the weird combination mentioned above, and partly because the movie had this unmistakable Priyadarshan stamp on it. I think thats where it lost the battle. The storyline of this film deserved a classic treatment which was lacking.

The story of a superstars' world and the story of a barber's world. How diametrically opposite and yet branching from the same root. Fascinating concept, very well built up suspense, brilliant acting by the two Khans, but the film just lacks that special something!

Lara Dutta is probably a surpize in this movie where she plays a homely village woman, doing a far better job than her earlier attempt (Mumbai se aaya mera dost)

All in all, a very slow village-like film. Reminds me of Welcome to Sajjanpur, but lacks the Shyam Benegal touch!

Rate - 2.5/5

HOODA hell is this?

Mere khwaboon me jo aaye (2009)

Another film by a female director, but this time I wasn't that lucky. Because this installment wasn't really that good.

I mean, I really liked the concept - A woman tries to forget the problems in life by fantasizing about a hot young man who helps her out in everything except the bed (kinda like a gay best friend!) But, the treatment given to the storyline is very poor.

Randeep Hooda's character is very well written and he has done his bit very well. Infact, he makes the movie tolerable. Raima Sen is so cute and good looking, she is the sort of girl that you wish sits next to you in class and you stare at her throughout the entire lecture! She is that gorgeous.

I have nothing else to say but...

Rate - 1.5/5

bevdi...

DevD (2009)

I can't believe I havn't seen a movie for two weeks. I've been waiting for this movie to release, and watching this movie was like having an orgasm. All the pent up energy finally found a chanel to flow!

This is an absolute cult movie. Anurag Kashyap kicks ass! Smoke, Drugs, Alcohol, Sex...what more could you ask for? (Did you shout Murder?) A heartbroken, drug drowning mans' journey from one woman to another in a modern Delhi is potrayed in a classic style and verve. This is what Bollywood cinema has come up to, and I'm very happy.

This movie is like a bunch of random ideas put together. Mixing facts with fiction, weaving practical jokes and making a movie on sex is hard enough, let alone making it commercially viable. If you're in distress, if you like getting high, if you like gaudy imagery or if you appriciate real art, in its most raw form, this movie is for you!

Abhay Deol as Dev is a phenomenon. There is going to be a generation of druggies and jilted lovers who would want to look like him when they break up or when they get high! He has abso-fuckin-lutely rocked the screen with EMOSSIONAL ATTYACHAAR!

Paro and Chanda, the two women in the life of Dev...who were potrayed rather meek and submissive in the earlier versions of Sharatchandra Chattophadhya's Devdas, are evolved characters in this movie, with their own egos, whims and fancies, and sexual needs.

I fall short of words when I describe the music of this film. I've been going over the tracks again and again for over a month now, and I still can't get enough of them. Amit Trivedi has done a wonderful job with his 18 tracks.

My God, I 'm so happy I waited out for this movie, and it did not dissapoint me at all!

Rate - 4.5/5

Trivia - Anurag Kashyap's guest appearance in the movie? He is Kalki's customer before Abhay.

The female director

Luck by chance (2009)

This is the first release I saw in 2009. Its Farhan Akhtars' second film and his sister Zoya's directoral debut. But it feels like you're watching a seasoned film. If you have a spectrum of films and film makers who've made expose on "Hindi film industry" than Madhur Bhandarkar would be on one end while Farah Khan would be on the other. And we have Miss Zoya Akhtar somewhere in between. Its like Madhur meets Om Shanti Om.

And thats not saying its a bad movie. Its infact, very good. It has a certain feel good factor to it, yet making it commercially viable. The story of a charming young man who uses his popularity amongst the women to get himslf to the top. But what he doesn't know is that his luck is standing by him the entire way. And on the step ladder rise to fame, he forgets the people whom he stepped over. Surprizingly, the movie ends with realization, but not with reconcilation. Thats what makes the film very real.

Isha Sherwani is sizzling hot in the movie. The part when she seduces Farhan Akhtar in her pink pajamas, I don't think I have words to say what happened. She is mind bogglingly flexible, voulptous and oh-my-God the moles!

My favourite character though was Rishi Kapoor. He plays the modern day producer perfectly. God fearing, two faced, lying and conniving businessman. Farhan Akhtar plays his character with a tone of underplay which plays out very well for him. Its more real. More relatable.

With a bunch of cameos, this movie is defiately a worth watch for movie buffs. You will definately see what I mean by the title.

Rate - 3.5/5

Best hindi love story ever...

Hum dil de chuke sanam (1999)

I've been dying to write a review for this film, for this is one of the most magical yet ironical love stories that I've seen. Sanjay Leela Bhansali is a man of art, a master at peaking your emotions and then crash / burn. (Bollywood's Baz Luhrman!) I love every movie that he's made (Khamoshi, Black, Devdas) except probably, Saawariya. I don't care what people would say about him and his films, I would never stop watching them. Its the sort of unconditional love, like that for Shah Rukh Khan.

The person who loves you and the one you love are probably not the same person. Nandini who falls in love with Sameer in small town Gujrat and Vanraj, who falls in love with Nandini - his wife. The film potrays the dual nature of true love. The initial exciting, obsessive, all-over-each-other phase which is so beautiful and poetic, but never lasts. And the later part, the true, non-glamorous, all accepting, all forgiving, almost unrealistic kinds. This is a story of a woman who is fortunate enough to find both these forms of true love, only from two different men. What does she accept is what the ending of this epic romance is all about.

My favourite character in the movie is Nandini's grandmother who has the wisest cracks. That scene where she is telling the two lovers about her story, under the starlit sky, is almost poetry in motion. Also, Vanraj is one of the best written characters in recent times. His conviction, honesty and bravery is commendable, and Ajay Devgan fits the bill perfectly. The scene of Vanraj and his father is one of the cornerstones of the film.

The shooting of the movie also saw its lead pair Salman and Aishwarya hooking up. But life isn't a movie (Why do people say that?) They broke up, with a lot of anger, might I add. Aishwarya is now happily married to Abhishek while Salman is still looking for look alikes.

Everything about the movie has already been raved about. The brilliant characterization, the stunning art direction, the immaculate beauty of Aishwarya, the honest performance of Ajay and lastly, the music which forms the soul of the film.

One of the best romantic films of all times.

Rate - 4.5/5

How many times does Sameer throw the honey off Nandini's hand? Five.

A cage of skeletons

Pinjar (2003)

This is one haunting movie. Its depressing. Its heart - wrending. Life isn't a bed of roses. It reminded of movies like Khuda ke liye, Matrubhoomi, Gadar, Partition and Mrityudand. All brilliant and thought - provoking.

This movie is based on anovel by Amrita Pritam, picturing the partition and the Hindu - Muslim rivalry in a very neutral yet humanistic point of view. A Muslim boy kidnaps a Hindu girl owing to some age - old dispute between families. Now, the family wont accept her back, afraid of the society. But thus Muslim boy is ready to marry her and treat her with utmost dignity. The story reveolves around this man being filled with guilt for what he did to the Hindu girl, and the girl finally coming to terms with the tragedy of her life... and accepting it. She ends up helping her relatives, who once threw her out and her husband helps her, in hope for redemption.

Urmila Matondkar plays the Hindu girl with ease. She is a very good actress and received awards for this movie. But for me, the show stealer was Manoj Bajpai, the Muslim boy. What a performance! Every movement, every dialogue, every look is filled with guilt. I think, this is his masterpiece performance. He has done some very good work like Aks, Shool, Satya and Tamanna.

The movie scores on depection of brutal reality. And the history of violence.

Rate - 3/5

A heart is all you need for revenge!

Ghajini (2008)

Finally, I went to see this movie so that I can diss the movie to no ends. And in the first ten minutes, I was convinced this blog would include insane profanity. But then, something happened. The movie actually picked up.

The most important thing in a movie is its story. This film just proves my point. Although, the movie is pretty much bullshit for international standards, its pretty good for Indian audiences. Why? Because the story is gripping. (And that is obviously a gift from the west)

The story is tweaked for bollywood. For staters, the movie is in normal chronological order, with extensive flashbacks. (They wanted to fill seats and have "Ghajini" hair-cut men sell popcorn) There are other plots intertwined, not very well, might I add. The love story delivers a strong feel to the movie, which is probably its' saving grace. The medical student story is well thought of. And the female trafficking and having an actual character called Ghajini is where they really fucked it up. And to top that, Mr. Amir Khan refuses to admit that the story is a "Memento" rip off! Bullocks!!

But I can only talk good things about his acting skills. He plays the freak very well and a mature man in love even better. And the crazy body that he has developed for the movie pays off when the audience whistles away to glory when he takes his shirt off! (as if he was the new Bond girl!)

Asin's character is very lovable and she has carried it beautifully for a new comer. She has a sultry south Indian figure (fuller around the pelvis) in contrast to her debuting counterpart Anushka Sharma (hot punjaban!) If you talk about the acting, both the girls have done a very good job. But you all know who I would pick for my new fav, wouldn't you!

Jiah Khan is underused in the movie. She is hot as hell! (Much like Jessica Alba!)

The music is quite nice, but has a very short shelf life.

Since the movie has a hilariously happy ending, the point potrayed in this film is - Although I cant remember shit after fifteen minutes, all I need to avenge my dead girlfriend (whom I lied to, by the way!) is a heart! And a hot medical student!

Revenge is a dish best served cold - Kill Bill Vol I

Rate - 2.5/5

If Aditya Chopra is obsessed with the colour yellow, A R Murgadoss is obsessed with people drinking water. Check out the movie!

So who are the real Heroes?

Heroes (2008)

Now this hindi movie was abashed as a cheap try at an army saga. So, I never put my money on the theatre tickets. But after I caught this movie on TV by mistake, I would like to swallow my guilt.

Sohail Khan and Vatsal Sheth are two student film makers who set out to deliver three letters of dead army officers to their families. Add to that a documentary, a cruiser bike and locations like Kargil, Punjab and other places in north India. I was interested from this very point. But the story gets even better.

Instead of showing boring ground battles and fake air raids, the director has cleverly shown the aftermath of a war. The heroes who die on the battlefield are undoubtedly great men. They talk to their relatives after months of biting cold so that I could sit here and blog everyday. But, there are heroes, too. A wife who takes care of her dead husbands' ailing parents and yet finds the time to nurse her kid to be an army officer is also a hero. The brother who has lost both his legs in the Air Force and a brother in the Army, runs a school to physically train kids is also a hero. A mother who lives to forget the death of her heroic son, at the same time dealing with a disheartened husband who is an angry father is also a hero. These silent, unsung, real life hereos is what the film potrays. They all live their entire life by two words - Pride and Honour. Is that really enough?

The movie is hilarious at times, like Sunny Deol being on a wheelchair and yet fighting with goons in a bar or the voice recording from the middle of a battlefeild. But I'd forgive Samir Karnik for that. After all, he is all Bollywood!

On a serious note, the film does move you. As cliche as it sounds, but our problems do seem trivial to other people in severe discomfort. They have a smile on their face. And we whine, whine and whine! Do you know why they have a smile on their face? Because they make others smile. They have suffered, they know what its like to suffer and wouldn't want anyone else to go through the same experience. The joy of helping others, or should I say the satisfaction of greater good, as much more, rather uncomparble to small, materialistic or selfish happinesses. (if there exsist a word so!)

The greater good are very strong words, with very simple meaning. As a person from any walk of life, if you can make a small difference, to make someone smile, just one random person everyday - you are a hero! A hero who is unsung, and yet is satisfied with his/her existence. If you don't belive me, try me!

Rate - 3.5/5

kya aapne RAB ko dekha hai??

Rab ne bana di jodi (2008)

Another Shah Rukh Khan masala fantasy fillum. As much I am a fan of this guy, I think he is starting to loose it. And Aditya Chopra does a fare job in his comeback after Mohobattein.

I think the uber cool Shah Rukh was very irritating. I loved the character of Mr. Suri, the plain simple paplu Shah Rukh, who doesn't know much about things in life...but knows enough about things that really matter. Anushkha Sharma is very hot and an extremely cool dancer. Vinay Shukla does very well in his short role.

The filming, I must say, is very crisp and clear. Bright loud colours and pastel tones that make characters stand out of their skin. The stunning innocence of Suri, the gorgeous Punjabi-ness of Taaniji and the irritating Raj! But the background music is the same old tune that plays every 20 seconds (the same deal with all Chopra-Johar films) Aditya Chopra tries to make a new age comedy but gets caught in his age old addage of senti crap in between for all the saas - bahu type females. And if I had a penny for every time they said RAB in the movie, I'd be rich enough to a translator for myself so I'd sit and watch the film with her! (Read punjabi)

I wish this film was director by Dibaker Banerjee (Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye and Khosla ka ghosla) Atleast we would've had a lot less RAB and a lot more laughs!

Rate - 2/5

Come, fall in love...with your brother's bride!

Sorry bhai (2008)

This is one of the boldest movies Indian cinema has ever produced. Director Onir proves his mettle in directing extremely sensitive subjects with absolute ease and a flow which lacks any artificiality. His previous film, My brother Nikhil, was about a homosexual swimmer who contracted AIDS and lived his last days with his loving sister.

This movie has two basic colour tones - blue and white. And the influence of oceans and beaches is sketched all over Onir's movies. Gives the film a very fresh and raw feel. The film is shot with minimal background score and the story is gripping.

The characters - Boman Irani is by far the most lovable of the cast. He is very cute playing the playful dad in his own way. I just hate Shabana Azmi, but her acting skills can't be denied. She plays the nagging mother who nags only because she means well for her children. Sharman Joshi has excellent comic timing, but doesn't look like a psychisist who plays the saxophone and is the perfect man. Talking about perfect, actress Chitrangadha Sen is. She is hot, has brains and money (She is the real life wife to golfer Jeev Milkha Singh) Brand new addition to my hot list. After Hazaaron khwashein aisi, she returns with a good performance. That leaves us to the smallest character in the movie, Sanjay Suri, who is incidentally also the producer. No wonder he kept his role as short as possible, he wanted the movie to work!

But I'm afraid that ain't gonna happen. This movie is conceptually ahead of its time for Indian ausdiences. A man falling in love with his future sister - in - law won't be well taken by the public. But I guess you should watch the movie to find out how hot Chitrangadha really is!

Rate - 2.5/5

Trivia - Chitrangadha Sen has acted in three bollywood movies. Hazaroon khwashien aisi, Sorry bhai and..? Kal

Oye sadda Lucky!

Oye Lucky, Lucky Oye! (2008)

Now thats what I call a title. Why can't we have more movies in which the title doesn't make any sense? (like Phoonk) This movie is a steal, literally. The story of a real life sweet talker Lucky Singh who stole from the rich, mixed with the affluent society and was sincerly truthful in his work. Now where would you find a theif like that? In Delhi.

The story begins in Lucky's adolescent days when he starts liking a girl, but doesn't have a scooter to take her for a ride. Everything begins from there and soon Lucky becomes one of the biggest con artists of the country. He doesn't kill or loot the poor. All he likes is Mercedes, TVs and women. He is a favourite amongst people for his honesty and amongst women for his charm. Abhay Deol fits the bill for the role and does it with ease and grace (as all his past films - Manorama, Ek chaalis ki last local and Socha naa tha)

The music rocks. The movie, on the other hand, starts out as very hilarious but looses grip as it progresses.

There has come a time in Bollywood when being rural north Indian is suddenly cool. After movies like Rang de basanti, Omkara, Tashan, Singh is King, Jab we met, Bunty aur Babli the face of the new Indian hero is an illiterate, punjabi accented, jugaad karnewala, high on fashion banda. (Read Aashu from Roadies or Raja Chowdary from Big Boss) Not that I'm complaining, or that I have something against north Indians guys. (ahem!) Its just that Im liking it too much to believe that I can actually like it.

Rate - 2/5

Fuckin hilarious

Deshdrohi (2008)

I don't know why I ever saw this movie...I had a choice between teen patti and this, but my cunt friends preferred this. I'd like to thank then from the bottom of my heart for giving me one of the most hilarious 2 and 1/2 hours I've ever had.
Kamaal R Khan (KRK taken from SRK) simply rocks. He is a man of doesn't. He doesnt have looks, he doesnt have the talent to act and he doesnt have the body to hurt my grandma (that's why Gracy Singh does all the fighting for him) But what he has is the fucking balls to make this movie - not only because of the social issue that he addresses but also the strength to bear the ridicule that he will face. Not to mention the amount of money that he has to get Hrishta Bhatt romances around him.
Every dialogue, every movement, every facial expression of this man is a work of art. You really cant stop laughing even though you've seen this man run a thousand times. He runs like you've never seen a human being run. And the scenes are so haphazardly edited that you wonder if its the same movie that you are still watching. But KRK's brilliant comedy overshadows all the flaws of this movie.
On a serious note, because of the whole North Indians in Maharashtra, India being a free country and Raj Thackerey's MNS this movie has gained a lot of mileage and has been banned in this state. But I'm sure the movie is a massive blockbuster up north as a hard hitting political drama with KRK's performance is regarded as a national hero. But those people will never read my blog, probably because they cant (means or ability)
Rate - (i must really be insane to even rate this movie) 0.5/5
Only because of the extremely funny dialogues and expressions of KRK
personal reference - what do you get when you mix sufi and randhir? KRK!

The best goodbye ever!

Dasvidaniya (2008)

This is a beautiful film. And its Vinay Pathak all the way...

Although the movie is inspired from the Jack Nicholson - Morgan Freeman starrer "The Bucket List", this movie has taken life of its own. There are brilliant moments in the film - like when Amar and his mother go for a drive in the car, when Rajiv (Rajat Kapoor) bids Amar goodbye at the airport, when Amar finally tells Neha that he loves her or when Amar & his brother make peace. This film is all about moments. Moments that mean a lifetime. And since Amar didnt have much of a lifetime, he wanted to live as many such moments as possible!

Words fall short of Vinay Pathak's performance. He carries the film on his wounded shoulders and smiles through the journey. And a very well written story by Arshad Sayyed supports his cause (The Russian prostitute was genius!)

Three fantastic songs. Shashant Shah's debut film is soft, heart wrenching and warm. Im sure a lot of females and my friend Harsh will cry through the movie.

Rate - 4/5

Personal references - G9 & G10...we have but only G4

the best dumb charades team...I know one!

The first kiss

Dostana (2008)

While I was on my way back from this movie, a friend of mine sitting behind me on the bike was reviewing this movie to her girlfriends over the phone - The movie looked very nice. I think that kind of sums up everything that Im going to mention in my exceptionally boring blog.

The film looks fresh...Priyanka Chopra looks like a dream (back to back good films after Fashion, I thinks she is more lucky than, well, unlucky) She has the curves and the legs of a supermodel, she looks more like one in this movie than Fashion. She wears the skimpiest outfits and makes them look elegant. And so does Shilpa Shetty (hottie!) in an item song.

John Abraham looks like a Greek God and acts decently, esspecially in the first Dolice and Gabbana underwear scene (Cheeks well clenched!) Abhishek Bachchan is ardently charismatic. He has played the gay card with extreme ease which reflects very smoothly on screen. He once again proves his prowess on comedy after a lull of flops.

Boman Irani was the surprize package in the movie. Although he only does a cameo, he plays a fag better than all the fags in Fashion. He is a brilliant actor, need I say more?

There is good situational comedy in the movie and not just stupid jokes like other movies in recent times. Its also upbeat, youthful and oh-so-Miami (Remember Will Smith??) Vulgarity is very well avoided in a sensitive issue like gay relationships, instead friendship is potrayed as more important - that the title, btw!

The songs are rocking, like Jaane kyon, Desi girl and Maa da laadla.

And finally, the kiss - the first gay bollywood kiss - John and Small B...some were nauseated, some were laughing and some were fantasizing...I was out to get some popcorn, so I missed it! But here is what I "make out" of it - Karan Johar is priming his audiences before he finally comes out of the closet.

Rate-3.5/5

Spolier-Priyanka chooses Bobby Deol in the end.

A Sequeal for the sake (aren't they all?)

Golmaal Returns (2008)
Now I wouldn't have watched this movie if it weren't for my parents and the cheapest theatre around (Pinky) Because its a shitty movie which makes a lot of money (like Singh is King, Race, Cash...you get what I'm talking about) I mean, how can you avoid humour in a comedy? Actually Im ranting so much because I know someone who works for AshtaVinayak. Ajay Devgan is a misfit as always, Tusshar's trying to be funnily dumb isn't really all that funny (see the saas n bahu heading for me with belans!) Shreyas Talpade and Arshad Warsi have done a fairly good job and are the saving grace of the film. Amrita Arora, Celina Jetley and the other chic with Tusshar (I wouldn't know her name and wouldnt take the pain to google it out either!) are an absolute waste. Well, maybe not that other chic, she looks nice. That brings us to Miss Kareena Kapoor...how hot is she?? Although she plays a married n keen K series viewer, she is still hot. I dont care what you say bout her zero size...they definately aren't zero size! And the two songs in which she plays a naughty girl- Meow and Tu Saala- are not featured in the movie. Instead songs like "Tha karke" are featured! (Tu lag jaa gale mere tha karke - wtf?)
Im sorry but i cant rant anymore.
Rate - 1.5/5

Fags...

Fashion (2008)
I saw this movie a couple of days after it came out with Harsh, Sufi and Amogh and i must say i didnt make such a big mistake buying the ticket. After a long time, probably after Rock On! this movie could safely be called a hit. The entire pre-diwali had a conglomarate of bad to worse movies...Hello, Maan gaye..., Drona, Ugly aur Pagli, Singh is King, so on and so forth...
More about the three hot girls in the movie...No 1. Priyanka Chopra is not hot...but nevertheless she is a good actor. Infact, she might even win the best actress award for this movie. Many of the girls i know really like Piggy Chops, but she is punju so...
No.2 Kangana Ranaut....totally owns the role of a drugged-out-dont-give-a-fuck supermodel. She is sensous, striking and sultry. She smokes, speeds, sleeps around and doesnt use as many alliterations as me. Probably she cant because her language skills are terrible. Somebody teach her how to speak. And I heard that she got many parts of her body enhanced for this role...THIS IS ALL BALLS!!!
No.3 Mughda Godse. She gets the award for the best body. Dripping hot, got the whole latino thing going for her. She is underused in this movie, but I see got item girl potential in this girl. That probably means you might never see her in an acting role ever again.
Fags...yes. Every guy in this movie is a homosexual or almost. The men havn't been done justice to, but I'm not complaining with hot women around. All the fashion show sequences are awesome and the music really fits them well. Infact, after the movie, the four of us decided no more movies...save up the money and go for a real fashion show once (and pray for a wardbobe malfunction)
The ending where Priyanka Chopra goes back to the fashion world and all, with all the goodie - goodie feeling...yeah, I didnt like that. Maybe you did. Then you won't like my blog...
Rate-3/5