THREE HOT BOMBS

Charlie's Angels - Full throttle (2003)

So this is what a Hollywood masala mix looks like!
This movie is all about hot chics fighting and lot of money spent over bikinis and sun tan lotion. There are a lot of must-drool-for-men sequences (nuns, bar dancers, nude in the sculpture, at the beach) a lot of kickass action sequences (dirtbike, street luge, golden guns) and a lot of cameos. With a studded star cast like Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu, Bernie Mac, Demi Moore, Robert Patrick, Luke Wilson, Matt leBlanc and the infamous voice of Charlie, who needs to actually write a storyline. Thats where the movie looses out.
I could keep on mentioning how sizzling hot the women in this movie are, but you'd have to see it for yourself (preferably in private) to truly enjoy the joy of knockers and Helen Zaas, if you know what I mean.
The soundtrack of the movie is awesome - Prodigy, Fatboy Slim and the song for Demi - Have I ever met a girl like you before??
Shout out to the charachter of Shameus O'Grady...Only God will judge him. Respect. And the guy who gets his jollies by uprooting women's hair. Now thats what I call creative!
Rate - 3/5

The first kiss

Dostana (2008)

While I was on my way back from this movie, a friend of mine sitting behind me on the bike was reviewing this movie to her girlfriends over the phone - The movie looked very nice. I think that kind of sums up everything that Im going to mention in my exceptionally boring blog.

The film looks fresh...Priyanka Chopra looks like a dream (back to back good films after Fashion, I thinks she is more lucky than, well, unlucky) She has the curves and the legs of a supermodel, she looks more like one in this movie than Fashion. She wears the skimpiest outfits and makes them look elegant. And so does Shilpa Shetty (hottie!) in an item song.

John Abraham looks like a Greek God and acts decently, esspecially in the first Dolice and Gabbana underwear scene (Cheeks well clenched!) Abhishek Bachchan is ardently charismatic. He has played the gay card with extreme ease which reflects very smoothly on screen. He once again proves his prowess on comedy after a lull of flops.

Boman Irani was the surprize package in the movie. Although he only does a cameo, he plays a fag better than all the fags in Fashion. He is a brilliant actor, need I say more?

There is good situational comedy in the movie and not just stupid jokes like other movies in recent times. Its also upbeat, youthful and oh-so-Miami (Remember Will Smith??) Vulgarity is very well avoided in a sensitive issue like gay relationships, instead friendship is potrayed as more important - that the title, btw!

The songs are rocking, like Jaane kyon, Desi girl and Maa da laadla.

And finally, the kiss - the first gay bollywood kiss - John and Small B...some were nauseated, some were laughing and some were fantasizing...I was out to get some popcorn, so I missed it! But here is what I "make out" of it - Karan Johar is priming his audiences before he finally comes out of the closet.

Rate-3.5/5

Spolier-Priyanka chooses Bobby Deol in the end.

Condom and Shoelace

Quantum of Solace - 007 (2008)

This is one movie that I wanted to talk about since a long time. This movie was supposed to be my birthday treat to my friends, but the cunts would rather eat than enjoy a good movie. Afterall...they were not all that wrong.
Lets start from the beginning, when Ian Flemming wrote this novel, it was about the transition phase of James to Bond (as was Casino Royale) And the directors back in the day, thought that this story lacked the elements needed to make a good Bond film. They say you should listen to your elders, they aren't all that wrong, you know.
The movie is about the revenge of a man called James who incidentally works for Her Majesty's secret services. No gadgets, No "my name is Bond, James Bond" and no seduction. Olga Korilnko is not hot, however she might have been potrayed in the promos. SHE HAS A RASH ON HER BACK. I might sound superficial and the rash is relevant to the story and all, but dude, she is supposed to be a bond girl. An entire generation of raring boys, raging hormones and weird single men are supposed to be surviving on these things. Spare a thought...
You know, its a good thing that the movie is only 1 hr 40 mins long. But the movie is impactful. It passes by you as fast as the action sequences of the movie which are brilliantly done by the director Mark Foster. The impact of "things" hitting "things" is very well done.
I have to give a shout out for Craig Daneil. What a Bond! Although he wouldnt be as suave is Brosnan, or articulate is Connerey, or charismatic as Moore...but he is as intense as Daniel. Intense emotions is his strong point. Deep blue eyes and supple footed, this Bond is ready to run at the drop of a dime (keeping the Brit theme) He has acted the jilted, wounded fighter in a very Bond way...and now this word seems to be hurting my ears.
The titles are not as good as Casino Royale, but the song - Another way to die by Alicia Keys and someone is not bad at all.
The movie is not that bad, but is definately not worth being a Bond film. That doesnt take anything away from Craig Daniel.
Rate-3.5/5

Spoiler - Latest Bond pickup line : Would you please help me come and look for the stationary? (read rubber!)

A Sequeal for the sake (aren't they all?)

Golmaal Returns (2008)
Now I wouldn't have watched this movie if it weren't for my parents and the cheapest theatre around (Pinky) Because its a shitty movie which makes a lot of money (like Singh is King, Race, Cash...you get what I'm talking about) I mean, how can you avoid humour in a comedy? Actually Im ranting so much because I know someone who works for AshtaVinayak. Ajay Devgan is a misfit as always, Tusshar's trying to be funnily dumb isn't really all that funny (see the saas n bahu heading for me with belans!) Shreyas Talpade and Arshad Warsi have done a fairly good job and are the saving grace of the film. Amrita Arora, Celina Jetley and the other chic with Tusshar (I wouldn't know her name and wouldnt take the pain to google it out either!) are an absolute waste. Well, maybe not that other chic, she looks nice. That brings us to Miss Kareena Kapoor...how hot is she?? Although she plays a married n keen K series viewer, she is still hot. I dont care what you say bout her zero size...they definately aren't zero size! And the two songs in which she plays a naughty girl- Meow and Tu Saala- are not featured in the movie. Instead songs like "Tha karke" are featured! (Tu lag jaa gale mere tha karke - wtf?)
Im sorry but i cant rant anymore.
Rate - 1.5/5

Fags...

Fashion (2008)
I saw this movie a couple of days after it came out with Harsh, Sufi and Amogh and i must say i didnt make such a big mistake buying the ticket. After a long time, probably after Rock On! this movie could safely be called a hit. The entire pre-diwali had a conglomarate of bad to worse movies...Hello, Maan gaye..., Drona, Ugly aur Pagli, Singh is King, so on and so forth...
More about the three hot girls in the movie...No 1. Priyanka Chopra is not hot...but nevertheless she is a good actor. Infact, she might even win the best actress award for this movie. Many of the girls i know really like Piggy Chops, but she is punju so...
No.2 Kangana Ranaut....totally owns the role of a drugged-out-dont-give-a-fuck supermodel. She is sensous, striking and sultry. She smokes, speeds, sleeps around and doesnt use as many alliterations as me. Probably she cant because her language skills are terrible. Somebody teach her how to speak. And I heard that she got many parts of her body enhanced for this role...THIS IS ALL BALLS!!!
No.3 Mughda Godse. She gets the award for the best body. Dripping hot, got the whole latino thing going for her. She is underused in this movie, but I see got item girl potential in this girl. That probably means you might never see her in an acting role ever again.
Fags...yes. Every guy in this movie is a homosexual or almost. The men havn't been done justice to, but I'm not complaining with hot women around. All the fashion show sequences are awesome and the music really fits them well. Infact, after the movie, the four of us decided no more movies...save up the money and go for a real fashion show once (and pray for a wardbobe malfunction)
The ending where Priyanka Chopra goes back to the fashion world and all, with all the goodie - goodie feeling...yeah, I didnt like that. Maybe you did. Then you won't like my blog...
Rate-3/5